REGULAR ASS BABY TABLE - $150 (Bedford)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/bab/3972860171.html

CONGRATULATIONS you are having a baby! This is the only time in your life you will require a designated poop station. So look up, I promise there is an end to the insanity of wiping, diapering and powdering..no wait no powder that is a HUGE misconception...baby power is actually not good for babies so why is it called baby powder then? Must be made from some fairy dusting, magical powder shitting babies, like the ones that walk at 6 months, potty train at 12 months and READ Charlottes Web while taking a crap on their royal pottychair throne... If you are thinking "Oh well maybe I don't need this, maybe I'll get a powder shitting baby. I can pay for college with all the $$ baby can make me selling magical baby ass powder to Johnson & Johnson"

HA HA think again bitches!!!

You are getting a regular ass baby just like me..no sleeping, bottle rejecting, POOP FACTORY. So you need this heavy ass piece of furniture that your husband/partner/baby daddy will BITCH about for years to come when having to move it five feet or five states away. Seriously its the heaviest piece of furniture we have ever owned.

Its in FAIR to GOOD condition...the drawers roll like it was new, the door latches its fully functional just some average wear and tear...don't judge after years of having multiple REGULAR baby asses on you, you will only be in FAIR condition as well.

 

Pinterest Project - Laundry Soap Container

I can't find the original pin with this idea but you have all seen the pretty laundry soap containers...well here's mine

Came out pretty good, cute right :)  you have to walk thru the laundry room to go in and out of the house everyday so I do want it to look nice, paint and shelves will come later....

Here is the other side :)

No man is an island....my ass!!!!

Maybe no man is an island but this woman is.....and there are 2 little spear chucking natives on it and one big one. When I decided to have children, (those of you who really know me and are going "Decide my ass! I was there for the month of tears!") I did not decide to get knocked up but I did decide to have them. I had no idea how isolating it was going to be.
3.5 years later the island just keeps getting smaller, I thought it would have been the opposite. But we moved so that just made matters worse. I was part of a moms group for a while which was great, it got us out and kept me from burning the house down. I did meet a few mom's that if I really had the time I could be friends with. There just isn't any time to cultivate adult relationships while you are chasing an 18 month old, who puts everything in his mouth, around the play ground. I am sure if I had stayed with the group I would have bonded more with the other moms. ***Moments of being thrown under a blanket with another girl and tricked into stripping by a roomful of teenage boys just don't happen in adulthood (thank God for that) but this was the instant I became BFF's with that other girl under the blanket. (Sheri Orr Baldwin)
But then I became a "working" mom, you know with a job that I have to get dressed for everyday and take a shower and put on makeup for....its really not all its cracked up to be. The only good part is not being trailer park broke anymore. So now I  really have no time to cultivate the minor relationships I did start to make w/ some moms I met, I  still try but it's hard and slow going.
How can you be isolated at work all day?  B/c the people I work with do not have small children. Even if I were to go to happy hour after work to try and get to know my co -workers I can't have a conversation with adults without kids. I have nothing to talk about that doesn't involve my children!
I was not prepared for this, why wasn't it in the "What to Expect" book? WTF people, I can't be the only one!
Chapter 1005: Expect to no longer have any friends.
1006: Expect your husband to be the only adult relationship you have. (You better actually like that Mother F*#$er. see chp. 1009)
1007: Expect to NEVER make any new friends. (So don't piss any of your current ones off. see chp. 1008)
1008: How to take the social hiatus required of parenthood and come back from the edge of solitary confinement.
1009: How to not murder your "soul mate" through child bearing. (If you skip this chapter you will need a whole different book)
The people I work with who have older kids do give me hope that one day I will have something to contribute again other than, potty training stories, funny things Alex says (which they could care less about b/c they don't know my kids) and the journey of finding a new pre-school.

Moment #2 of No Going Back....

LADIES ONLY POST:SERIOUSLY DUDES WILL NOT WANT TO READ THIS!!!!

Okay you definitely have to be a mom (or my friend) to think this is funny... and if you don't well get the stick out of your ass... ;)
So today I find myself in the ladies room at work and cannot find any variation of the one item I NEED. (And I mean NEED like I should probably have a blood transfusion tomorrow :P ) Whats ridiculous is I carry a Coach Poppy bag on a daily basis, its fairly large. On any given day you could find multiple items to feed a toddler, clean them, entertain them and sometimes dress them.
Guess what I did??? Yep...I did it and I am admitting it to you all for your amusement b/c its fucking HI-LARRY-OUS I wore a diaper today....I origami-ed the shit out of a size 6 (my son is 35lbs @ 2.5) diaper and went right back to work.
Another moment that just stresses the fact that my life has forever been changed. WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD BITCHES!
(If you missed it Moment #1: was fishing poop out of the bath tub, bare handed without even a moments hesitation.)